Iheoma - Dilemma at the office

I stared hard into my wallet. My brain was refusing to comprehend what my eyes were seeing. I closed my eyes and counted to five and opened them again. This was more like my eyes were refusing to see what my brain knew they should see. Abi, what kind of nonsense dream was I dreaming this afternoon…

‘Aunty, let me come back. Let me serve customers’ said Deola the salesgirl at the office canteen as she moved away to attend to the customers who just entered.

I tried to gather my thoughts as she left. Small Papa had given me N10,000 to buy needed foodstuff on my way back home from the office. I was very sure that I put the money in my wallet and even put it in a different part of the wallet from my own small change. In fact, I still saw it when I paid for my transport fare this morning. I saw it when I removed my passport photograph to submit my bank form to the HR manager.

‘What is the matter, Iheoma?’ Sharon asked. We had both come down to the canteen to eat together. She had immediately started wolfing down her jollof rice & plantain after she collected her change from Deola and only stopped to take a gulp of water. That was when she noticed the scowl on my face. ‘Why are you not eating?’ she asked.

‘I can’t find my money!’ I replied. In response, one nicely shaped eyebrow shot up towards the ceiling. I went on to explain that money was missing from my wallet. ‘I am very sure I still saw that money when I went to Mrs Ola’s office to submit my form. Sharon, abeg you will help me cover this lunch. I will pay you back.’

Sharon and I were doing our Industrial Attachment (IT) with Orion Integrated Services. We started barely three weeks ago, thanks to brother Uche’s girlfriend. She had quickly figured that the best way to Uche’s heart was not through his food but through his baby sister’s heart. Her cousin was the Company Secretary. I also pleaded with her to help with Sharon’s IT if it was possible. Sharon was my bestie in Yabatech. We were both reading Business Admin and met during our registration and clicked like “t’oko t’aya”. She had really helped me out on many occasions especially when during exams when it was easier to crash in school for overnight reading. Sharon had accommodation in the dorms while I attended school from home, so I became the official squatter of her quarters.

Sharon was asking me if I left my wallet in my bag. ‘Do you carry your wallet around?’ I asked her. ‘Yes o’, she replied. ‘We do not really know anyone na. This is a corporate office but even thieves wear suits and dress well sometimes. If you left your wallet by your seat, anyone could have stolen the money’. I tried to recollect my movement earlier in the day. The annoying bit was that I usually carried my wallet around with me but sometimes I had to rush off to answer my manager especially when he was in a foul mood . The office we sat in was an open office, a common area where the junior officers and office messengers sat. About a dozen staff members sat there. Though we worked in different teams for different managers, we managed to sit together so we could share their experiences. 

Earlier, when I had returned from the HR office, only a handful of people were in the office. We were divided into 3 teams and one team had gone out with their manager on a marketing drive. Others were probably having meetings. I went to the ladies with my wallet in hand. As I was returning, Dipo called me and said Mr Nife, our Manager asked us to come to his office immediately. I had quickly picked up my notebook & pen but had dropped my wallet when searching through my bag for the idiotic pen! I didn’t pick up the wallet again. That must have been when the thief struck.  As I related all this to Sharon, a foolish idea came to my head. It was so foolish, it refused to leave…

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I entered into the common area, I stopped close to the dispenser with the neatly folded paper in my hand. With shaky hands, I carefully unfolded the paper so the powder will not pour out unceremoniously. I muttered the words under my breath and then blew the powder into the air.  As I repeated the same thing and I blew the second time, a number of people were looking up to see what the hell I was doing but I boldly pressed on. I muttered my native dialect again. By the time I blew the third time, everyone was looking at me. Everywhere was silent. I just walked to my seat and folded the paper into my bag. I heard Sally mutter “Blood of Jesus” repeatedly. Everyone started talking at the same time, wanting to know what I just did. Dipo called me to his desk. I quickly went as all eyes traced my movement there. ‘Iheoma, what did you just do? What the hell was all that? This is an office, not your house’ What kind of juju are you practising? A couple of “senior” junior officers, Efe and Bisola added their opinion wanting to threaten brimstone and fire. Efe wanted to report to the HR manager.

‘Dipo, it is just that someone stole money from my bag this afternoon – N11,500. And the person left two hundred and twenty naira for me and it is not even my money like that’, I quietly said. ‘I need that money back’.

‘But that is impossible. Maybe you misplaced it or forgot it at home. Haba, just this afternoon and you are already practising, practising…. Abeg, only God knows what jare’ he said. Efe’s voice was still filtering in from his seat, ranting impressively about how this was an office and stealing never happened before I joined.

‘It is not impossible o’ Ronke said. Ronke sat next to Dipo and had come to stand by his desk to hear what is going on. ‘N4,000 or so got missing from my bag early last week but I just wrote it off as money I had carelessly misplaced. Tina also complained that she misplaced her bracelet. This is more than coincidence. Somebody must have started stealing’, she added. ‘But what did you just do now by the doorway with all that blowing of powder and incantations that resembled African Magic movies?’ she pressed on. ‘It is to catch the thief, abi?’ Sharon asked. Sharon had crept up behind me. No one noticed her until she spoke. Dipo looked at her from her head to toe as if to size up if any truth could come out of her. ‘The person will develop rashes and have chickenpox or if his head is strong, he will start having boils all over his or her body by tomorrow.’ I solemnly said.

Exclamations of all sorts went up in collision with all others. ‘It is good jor. Let the thief be exposed well well’, Ronke said. ‘We do not need this type of gbege in the office. That rubbish! In an office environment ke…  And it is even we women with handbags that will be mostly affected’. Some concurred with her but others were against using anything fetish in the office environment. Even Sally started spraying her desk and chair with holy water. I wished I could capture the drama on video so I could laugh very well later but right now, I tried not to think about how disappointed brother Uche will be with me if the money was not returned.

 As I returned to my seat, others were still discussing in clusters. Sharon came to sit down, her eyes full of glee. ‘Let us watch and see’ she said as she started sorting her files.

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I lifted my head to stretch my neck a bit. The clock above the dispenser read 5.21pm. Almost everyone had left, today being a Friday. It was past closing time and the staff bus would leave in 9 minutes. I quickly alerted Sharon. ‘Abeg, pack your load. You can finish on Monday. Even your oga has left since…’. I did not even want to risk it. The day you get to the bus early, it would leave close to 6pm but if you make the mistake of getting there at 5.31pm, you will only see the tyre marks in the sand.

‘How far na? Have you checked to see if it has been returned?’. I shook my head and quickly withdrew my wallet and had the second surprise for that day. I turned the wallet and showed the contents to Sharon. ‘It worked’ she said laughingly, ‘I can’t believe it! Wait o, count it na and see if it is complete sef’. I brought the money out and counted it. As I counted twelves notes, a piece of paper fell out. Sharon bent down to pick it and opened it. Scribbled on it was “I am very sorry. Please forgive me. Biko’. We both started laughing like hyenas. Dipo and Ronke looked up, startled by our laughter. We quickly arranged ourselves. But Dipo quickly caught a glance of the money in my hands and asked ‘Has it been returned?’ I nodded emphatically as Sharon piped in that I owe her a new bottle of Echanteur white powder. As we quickly ran out to catch our bus, we could still hear Dipo and Ronke laughing hard!